~ Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un ~
Yesterday, while I was out running errands, I took a moment in the car to check in on my social media where I was met with news I’m still not sure I can wrap my head around:
Umar Hakim-Dey is gone.
In the wake of a larger political discourse and posturing about the assassination of Charlie Kirk the day prior, I am seeing a network of individuals across the country digitally mourning the loss of our friend without any media fanfare, and it makes me question all our priorities in this society. Because if anyone deserves to be ‘known’ and publicly mourned and eulogized and lionized, it’s Brother Umar.
I remember the very first day I met Umar. I was part of the American Muslim Civic Leadership Institute (AMCLI), and our cohort was meeting together on the USC campus. We were crowded into a classroom and came in to give a workshop on community organizing – something he had been doing for a long time. His laid-back, easy-going Southern California personality was just the first layer. Quickly, we were all able to see that he was knowledgeable without superiority, confident without bluster, and wise without condescension.
Over the years, he and I kept in touch, and every opportunity I had to see him in person was a joy. He had an enormous smile that took up half his face and a calming presence that was warm and solid. Each time he greeted me, it was with a booming “Q!!!!!” and a hug. He was the kind of man that I never felt uneasy around, always treating me like a real sister, with genuine love, respect, and concern.
Yesterday, I told a friend that Umar was like a mountain.
He had strength of character and a powerful faith, upon which an entire ecosystem of people, organizations, and projects was nurtured and thrived. His work as a bridge-builder in Los Angeles is legendary. He sat at the table with politicians, law enforcement officials, and religious and civic leaders, all of whom had conflicting interests. He helped them understand why they needed to work together for the most vulnerable in their communities. He did it with humility, grace, and a great deal of compassion.
The idea that he is gone is about as easy to grasp as the concept of a mountain disappearing. How can it be?
Brother Umar Hakim-Dey was a great man. Not in the way our superficial, power-obsessed society likes to define great men. No, Umar was great from the inside out. He would be the first to tell you he wasn’t perfect, that he had struggles and demons – just like the rest of us. But he persevered, he overcame, he made things better anyway. And that is the stuff true heroes are made of.
Learn more about Umar’s work:
- Inkerij Foundation
- Read the Muslim Public Affairs Council’s statement