Blog 4.28.24

“Last night I had the strangest dream…”

No doubt it was the result of watching this documentary about jazz pianist Bill Evans previously that evening:

The 1950s and 60s were a magical time for jazz, and Evans was among the best of the best. This doc features tons of great footage of the club scene of the day and other great artists besides Evans (Davis, Coltrane, Et al.), as well as interviews with many of their compatriots who are still alive. As I watched, I found myself feeling envious. I should have been there. That should have been my scene, too.

Anyway, at some point last night I had a dream about starting a band. It was very exciting. I recruited some guys, we began putting together our first gig. I spent a lot of time fussing over promoting the upcoming show and getting everything right. Eventually, I sent the other band members to go and set up the stage so I could get ready. I had nothing decent to wear so I was searching all over for something.

Then, weirdly (it was a dream, after all), I found myself in some building that opened up to a huge lake that reminded me of Lake Powell in southern Utah. Someone told me we were in New Mexico and I couldn’t believe it. So I got in a little boat and went around the lake and realized that I was, in fact, in New Mexico.

Just then, I heard a hawk’s cry, and I looked up. Overhead, in some large metal scaffolding that was overhanging the lake, was a hawk’s nest and in it were three babies. The hawk was aggressively making noise and I realized she was upset that I was there, so I decided to leave. But as I did, I saw her start to carry her babies away from the nest. They were big, but not quite able to fly yet, and she was struggling to lift them in the air as she flew. I tried to tell her (telepathically?) to come back because I was leaving, but she was intent on moving her brood. I turned the boat to head back to the building I’d been in before.

After that I spent some time locating something to wear for the show that night. I found it at a little boutique that was in a rustic structure in this quaint little touristy village. The thing I picked out is something I already own.

Then, I went to a little house to get changed. I think it was a house my family lived in when I was still a toddler. At least, that’s what it reminded me of. The house was a small, one-story thing with a chainlink fence around the perimeter and a tree in the front yard. As I approached, I realized that the bird and her babies were sitting underneath the tree. Two of the babies were dead and one was dying. The mother sat on the ground next to them and didn’t seem to notice I was there.

And that’s it. SO weird and unsettling. I felt anxious when I woke up this morning, mainly because the dream was so vivid and difficult to understand.

The upside to this weirdness is that I’ve recently come out of a very long dry spell of not dreaming. My dreams have always been powerful and vivid from childhood, and I missed them. I’m glad to have them back even if they are discomforting.