According to the astrologers of the internet, Saturn – that stern planet whose job it is to teach us hard lessons – is leaving my sun sign this week, having been camped out here since 2023.
Saturn is a hardass teacher, and whether you believe in astrology or not, I can confirm that the last three years have been some of my hardest. AND. Some of my most rewarding. Who I am today is completely different from who I was just three years ago, and that is no exaggeration.
I’ve grown and evolved exponentially in this time, and not the easy way. Perhaps because I’m so stubborn, I had to go through a fire so hot that I couldn’t help but emerge as a different person.
(An interesting note – the last time Saturn was in my sign was 1993-1996 during which time I moved twice, across three states, and was married and divorced from my first, abusive husband.)
Anyway, I’m gonna share a few of my hard lessons here, because sharing is caring, and because if you know anything about me, you know I’m willing to live out loud and let other people learn from my mistakes.
Therefore, I present to you: Lessons from a Midlife Saturn Transit Through Pisces
1. The love I need and have desperately craved, the love I have sought from other people for decades, that I have traded my soul for in the past? That love only comes from within me. No one can love me until I love me. And learning to love myself has been the greatest act of vulnerability I’ve ever performed. Learning to love myself well is my greatest achievement to date.
2. Everything in this world is set up to make you believe you can’t trust yourself. It’s a scam, perpetuated by people, institutions, and systems that want to use your energy for their own ends. You can abso-fucking-lutely trust yourself if you shut the fuck up for a while, sit still, and really listen to what your higher self, sans ego, is telling you.
3. Once you trust yourself, you’ll realize you have to make corrections to your life’s course. Many people will not like this. They may even get angry or act as if you’ve betrayed them. BUT. The people who actually love you? They will be DELIGHTED. If you do what’s right for you with the aim of being the best version of yourself, you won’t lose anyone or anything that really matters. I am here to testify.
4. Spend some time going back and reconnecting with Little You. Because Little You was a lot closer to your true self than the multi-layered ego self you’ve adopted as a survival mechanism. Little You knew what your true passions are. Little You had great instincts about what truly makes you happy. Little You is still there, inside. Go find her, invite her for a lil tea party with an adorable miniature tea set and some cookies, and have a chat. Assure her you’re Big now, and will protect her, and no one can stop You anymore.
5. Get the fuck off the internet for a while. For, like, a LONG while. Go be outside, reconnect with nature, and remember that you are a goddamn motherfucking human being that lives in a glorious physical world containing more delights than you can possibly dream.
6. Make art. I don’t care what kind. Paint. Write poetry. Buy a cheap keyboard and plunk around on it. Do a lot of it. Don’t worry about whether it’s any good. Do it for fun, and for the thrill of putting those feelings of yours into the world in a way only you can.
7. You’re gonna have to go it alone. As much as we are communal creatures, each one of us is responsible for ourselves and our happiness. Furthermore, you can’t be a valuable member of a community until you take responsibility for yourself and your own happiness. You can’t wait for others’ approval. No one – NO ONE – no matter how close they are to you, can tell you what you really need or want. You have to find it, claim it, and do it even if it means proceeding without approval.
8. You have to take yourself seriously if you really want to live into your full potential. You can’t half-ass your life, or hedge your bets. Decide, commit, and show up for yourself every fucking day.
9. Not everything is for everyone, and that’s ok.
10. PROTECT YOUR ENERGY. The world is filled with people who will take your energy, use up your time, deplete your physical and mental capacities, and feel completely entitled to them. Some of them do it intentionally to diminish you, and some are just lazy and figure that if it’s out there, it’s theirs for the taking. Either way, the answer is: NAH.
11. Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.
12. Prioritize the people and things that you can actually impact in a positive way. Stop shoveling attention and energy toward people and things over which you have little or no control.
13. Practice daily gratitude. It really does make a difference in your outlook and motivation.
14. Don’t be ashamed of your vulnerability. It’s not a weakness – it’s the part of yourself that is the most tender, and that’s the most fertile ground for your compassion to grow. And folks, the world needs all the compassion it can get.
15. Life is fleeting and far more fragile than it seems when we’re immersed in the day-to-day grind. We can lose people we love in an instant. We can lose our health or abilities overnight. Never take your physical well-being (or the well-being of people in your life) for granted. Do whatever you can to invest in your own and your loved ones’ physical and mental health. You just don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.
We all have our own hard lessons that we’ve learned in our lives. Yours are no doubt different than mine. But if anything here resonates with you, I’m glad I can be open about it.
Love ya.
~Q
Pick up a copy of The Whole Enchilada, my debut novel under the pen name Daniela Quirke. It’s available online in print and electronic formats!
