Blog 4.15.24
I’m starting another one of my social media sabbaticals today. This time I’ll be “offline” for six weeks. Once again, I feel a profound sense of relief to be able to step away, and I wonder how much longer I can maintain a personal presence on these platforms. The whole thing really has become an albatross around my neck.
I started using social media in the early 2000s, which I suppose is when it actually became a thing. Even I was surprised how quickly I took to it. I’ve often credited my “success” in social media on the fact that it’s the least personal form of communication. That is, it allows me – an introvert who loves people – to be able to spend time with other humans on my own terms. I could log in and out whenever I felt like it, and walk away from things that I found annoying or offensive (a skill I never learned IRL until very recently).
I’ve had a modicum of success building community online – though it’s always been fraught to some degree. I knew early that the chickens would come home to roost, and I spoke out about it regularly (only to be ignored by peddlers of the manufactured zeitgeist), even developing an educational program to work with civic and religious leaders on how to use social media in a healthy way.
Alas. Anyone who has been around the internet in any capacity for the last ten years can tell you that all our naive dreams about the value of social media have crashed and burned. Rather than becoming a place of true connection, community and healing, today it’s most often used as an ego-centric soapbox. A place to stand up in front of other people and leverage their attention for whatever cause, insecurity or desire you may have. I include myself in this condemnation, of course.
Last year when I started doing serious work on myself with my therapist, I noticed my urge to be online began to abate quickly. The more I like myself and see value in my work, my time, and the people closest to me, the less I’m interested in reading the half-informed opinions and condemnations from other people I barely know (if at all) on social media.
That’s why I made a decision to close down most of my personal social accounts by the end of 2024. Currently I only have Mastodon, Facebook and Instagram in my name. Instagram is private – I’ll keep it because I’ve never actually used Instagram for community. It’s really more about artistic expression and cute guinea pigs. I don’t feel any sense of obligation there. Facebook is trickier because I have a robust network of very cool people that I’m connected with and I don’t want to lose them, but also, I really dislike Facebook and see it as a necessary evil. My solution is to keep my personal profile there locked down and migrate my content to a Page under the nom de plume I use as a fiction writer.
Mastodon, on the other hand, is a delight. It’s very much countercultural and akin to the early days of social before the normies and an entire cadre of media personalities took over Twitter and turned it into a clown show. I have my own server there which gives me complete control. There’s no advertising model. There’s no algorithm. I see what I want to see, when I want to see it. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the only social platform with actual social merit.
Of course, because I want to do business in the 21st century, I have to have some profiles on the non-federated socials – I’ve created accounts for my nom de plume that I’ll inhabit going forward – but the difference is that I’m using these accounts to promote my work and connect with other writers/readers in a professional capacity. Which takes a lot of the fun out of it. But there it is. The only value I can see in social media anymore is to use it for marketing. Which breaks my heart, but also, feels like a bit of a relief.
In the meantime, I’m reclaiming my analog life. I’ve started writing letters by hand again. I’m journaling with pen and paper. I’m reading books made of paper and listening to vinyl records. I’m meditating, gardening and enjoying the visceral, the sensual. By doing this, I can feel my mind calming and retaining more. I’m able to concentrate for longer periods of time. I’m learning to enjoy the silence within instead of carrying on arguments with random jackasses that triggered me online. And, I’m writing my novel.
